One problem people often face in the first year of recovery is feeling disillusioned because sobriety is not the panacea they expected it to be. They may be doing very well, but perhaps they expected more. They feel deceived, disappointed, or cynical. They might start to wonder if they’re doing something wrong, or if sobriety is just not going to work for them. This might lead to anxiety or depression. They might stop doing the things that have kept them sober for months. These feelings of disappointment are especially dangerous after a strong start, or a “pink cloud” period, when everything seemed to be going great. Here’s why it’s a good idea to manage your expectations of sobriety.
Problems are the normal state of things.
The main reason sobriety won’t solve all your problems is that everyone has problems, whether or not addiction has ever been one of them. When you’re in active addiction, the problems caused by that addiction burn bright, but once that particular fire is subdued, you start to notice all the other problems that people normally have. Sobriety doesn’t solve all your problems; it only solved most of the problems you created for yourself.
There’s a lag period for addiction problems.
When you quit drinking or using drugs, you mainly stop creating new problems, or at least slow down. Many of the problems you have already made still persist. You may find yourself in debt, lacking a job, or alienated from your loved ones. These problems can take a little while to solve after you get sober. Regaining trust might be the hardest one, and no matter how hard you work on recovery, some people might not trust you again. If you expect everything to be suddenly fine the moment you leave treatment, you’re bound to be disappointed.
Sobriety takes work.
In addition to the normal things everyone else has to do, you also have to make time to work on sobriety. That might mean going to meetings, seeing a therapist, exercising, journaling, meditating, and so on. People often get complacent and feel like recovery is going well enough that they can stop doing some of those things that have helped them stay sober. If you expect ahead of time that maintaining sobriety will just become part of your daily life, it won’t feel so onerous.
The timeline is longer than you think.
It typically takes about five years before people feel stable in recovery. By that point, relapse rates drop pretty low and most people are in a much better place financially, professionally, and socially. The trick is that so much happens in the first few months that after six months or so, people often feel like they’ve come much farther than they really have. You might look around and say, “I’ve been sober for 10 months now, I hate my job, my family still won’t talk to me, and I’m depressed. Why should I bother staying sober?” Although you do make a lot of progress in the first year, there’s still a long way to go. If you expect too much early on, you might get discouraged and give up. It’s tough to strike the right balance. If you don’t believe life will get much better when you’re sober, it’s hard to put in the effort and take the risk. On the other hand, if you expect life to be perfect right away, you’re going to be disappointed. Life will never be perfect, but if you keep working at it, life can be very, very good.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental illness, we can help. Recovery Ways is a premier drug and alcohol addiction treatment facility located in Salt Lake City, Utah. Our mission is to provide the most cost-effective, accessible substance abuse treatment to as many people as possible. Contact us online or call us today at 1-888-986-7848.
