How Do I Stop Being So Angry with Myself?

When we are working to recover from our addictions and mental health issues, we often struggle with feeling regret and remorse for all the negative things we’ve done, all the mistakes we’ve made, all the ways we’ve hurt people. We feel ashamed of ourselves and struggle to forgive ourselves. We can be filled with anger and disappointment, that very often can lead to depression and self-destructiveness. How can we stop being so angry with ourselves and choose self-forgiveness instead? When we hurt other people, it is very often because we were hurting ourselves. Our addictions and mental health issues are not reflections of our poor character or moral failing. They are evidence of our unhealed pain. Be compassionate with yourself. Offer yourself the understanding you would give someone else who was reacting out of pain. Look at the fears and pain that were driving you. See how much you suffered, and allow yourself to feel for yourself. It is not selfish or self-absorbed to recognize our own pain. Self-reflection and analysis are so important for learning to work through our pain. Practice unconditional forgiveness. Recall all the things you’re struggling to forgive yourself for. You might want to journal about them or make a list. Look at these things without trying to avoid the difficult feelings that come up. Don’t shy away from how painful the shame, regret and disappointment can feel. Allow yourself to feel them. Now look at your list the way someone who loves you might. Do you think they would forgive you for these things? Take it a step further and look at your transgressions the way your higher power would. Your higher power wants you to love and forgive yourself. Practice holding your mistakes and wrongdoings in your awareness. Visualize them being surrounded with the light of your forgiveness. Meditate on this visualization. Practice repeating affirmations such as “I can forgive myself. I can let go. I can release. I can move forward. I am a good person.” Seek out the support of a therapist. Therapy is designed to help us tackle our unresolved pain and all of the emotions we’re having a hard time reconciling. Take advantage of their professional expertise. You don’t have to recover alone. When we open ourselves up to receiving help, we can be pleasantly surprised at how much progress we make. Sometimes an outside perspective is what we need to help us change how we’re viewing ourselves and our lives. We’re here to help. Call 1-888-986-7848 for information on the treatment programs we offer.