Addiction often makes people do things they would never otherwise do. One of the biggest regrets of people in recovery is that they did things to hurt the people they care about. Addiction often leaves many broken relationships in its wake. People early in recovery sometimes feel anxious and frustrated that their loved ones still don’t trust them despite all the hard work they’ve put into staying sober. What can you do to win back the trust of the people you care about?
Work your recovery plan.
The single best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to stay committed to your recovery plan. There will be times when you don’t feel like it and you’re just going through the motions. That’s fine as long as you keep doing it. Instead of trying to make people trust you, try to make yourself trustworthy.
Apologize and make amends.
Many people will do this as part of a 12-step program. Sometimes apologizing and making amends isn’t enough. Sometimes the people you most want to make it up to won’t even answer your calls. However, you still have to make the effort. Reaching out, apologizing, and making amends is necessary, if not sufficient, for rebuilding trust. It’s also important to try to make amends, rather than merely apologize. Words are cheap. Making amends often involves some kind of sacrifice, which shows you’re serious.
Don’t force it.
It’s understandable that you want people to forgive you. You know how much you sincerely regret your mistakes and you know how hard you’ve worked to beat addiction. However, your loved ones only know disappointment and betrayal. It may take them some time before they are willing to risk trusting you again. You can’t speed up the healing. You just have to show them consistently, perhaps for years, that you really have changed.
Accept that what others think is out of your control.
Even if you work really hard and stay sober the rest of your life, some people may not forgive you. You might have some influence over how they perceive you, but you have no actual control. If you feel like you should have control over it, you’re bound to be disappointed. You just have to accept that other people will have their own opinions of you. If you feel like they should forgive you and that they’re being unfair by not forgiving you, it’s liable to breed frustration and resentment, which will not help your recovery.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental illness, we can help. Recovery Ways is a premier drug and alcohol addiction treatment facility located in Salt Lake City, Utah. We have the resources to effectively treat a dual diagnosis. Our mission is to provide the most cost-effective, accessible substance abuse treatment to as many people as possible. Request information online or call us today at 1-888-986-7848.
