Any significant change in life, big or small, doesn’t happen all at once and forever. There’s typically equivocation, trying and failing, trying again, making progress, sliding back, progressing again, and so on. There are typically five stages of change when you’re trying to get from here to there. These can apply to quitting drugs or alcohol, or to making positive life changes such as eating healthier or being more conscientious. When trying to make a big change, it helps to have a map. Here are the typical stages of change.
Precontemplation.
At this point, you have no intention of changing. Maybe you think everything is fine, or maybe you’re just feeling stubborn. Maybe you feel like you can’t change, so why try? Carlo diClemente, one of the psychologists who developed the five stage model of change calls these “the Four Rs,” which are reluctance, rebellion, rationalization, and resignation. Nothing can change until you get past this stage.
Contemplation.
This is the stage where you admit, at least to yourself, that you might have a problem. You are at least aware that something in your life needs to change, that drinking or drug use, for example, is causing you a lot of problems and you should do something about it. You may have hope that change is possible and start learning about what that change might entail. There might be many false starts at this stage as you encounter resistance–both internal and external–scrap the whole idea of sobriety, then inevitably come back to it. Doing an honest cost/benefit analysis on whether you should get sober might motivate you to finally act.
Determination.
This is when you definitely decide to do something. You may still be a little ambivalent, but you decide to act, regardless of your doubts. At this stage, you begin to make a plan. The plan should be doable and have a reasonable chance of success. It definitely helps at this point to have expert guidance.
Action.
This is when you begin to carry out your plan. This might mean entering treatment, starting 12-step meetings, or working with a therapist. It’s often a good idea to make some kind of commitment to friends or family so you feel more accountable for following through. This is typically where you will get your first positive reinforcement. Life will quickly improve in some ways, which will encourage you to keep going. This stage typically lasts three to six months.
Maintenance.
After you’ve had some initial success with making a positive change, you have to keep it going. This is always up and down. Some days are good and some are bad. You may backslide and relapse. If so, it’s important to get sober again as soon as possible and learn what you can from your mistakes. The longer you maintain the change, the easier it becomes. The maintenance stage typically lasts several years. By the end of it, there is still a possibility of relapse, but you can maintain sobriety without having to try very hard.
Termination.
This is the ultimate goal. At this point, you have no desire to use at all. Some people might not get here, but perpetual maintenance definitely beats perpetual addiction.
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